Many people have unrealistic ideas about marriage, and thanks to Hollywood films, some even begin to believe in fairy tales. Perhaps it is these imposed stereotypes that prevent us from building harmonious relationships in real life.
We are by no means saying that we should abruptly stop watching a movie in principle. Just remember: what happens on the screen cannot always happen in reality. If we can still ironize over kisses in the rain and slow motion, some of the other stamps and settings that Hollywood drives into our heads are far from harmless. This is especially true for films about couples. We have collected the most common misconceptions about relationships that are found in almost every romantic picture.
Love at first sight
Frame from the film “Diary of memory”
“Titanic”, “Memorial Diary”, “Bridges of Madison County” – to list films in which the main characters fall in love at the first meeting can be infinite. Of course, on the screen it looks very romantic, but, unfortunately, this does not happen in real life.
Arizona State University professor Mary Lou Galician argues that love, at first sight, cannot be in principle. Passion – yes, but not love. According to Galician, the filmmakers are forced to rapidly develop the relations of their heroes simply in order to meet the allotted time.
Shot from the movie “Romeo + Juliet”
Which of us does not dream of meeting a man with whom he can connect as “two halves of one whole”: like Jack and Rose, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, or Romeo and Juliet? Alas, scientists do not advise believing in films and dreaming of a soul mate.
Craig Malkin, a clinical psychologist and psychology teacher at Harvard Medical School, argues that both partners must work hard to build strong relationships. People who understand this are usually happier in marriage.
Malkin believes that films in which people find their soul mate involuntarily make us hope for fate, and not for our own strengths, and we unwittingly lose control of our personal lives.
Shot from the movie “Pretty Woman”
A rich man and a poor woman, an excellent student and a bully, an FBI agent and a criminal are all varieties of the same formula. The principle of “opposites attract” is observed even in cartoons: remember the Disney paintings “Beauty and the Beast” or “Lady and the Tramp”.
Most often, in Hollywood films, heroes in love belong to different social classes. For example, the film “Pretty Woman” tells the story of the love story of a billionaire and a prostitute. It is sad, according to sociologists, in real life, people from different social layers have little chance of falling in love with each other and creating a family.
Spouses read each other’s thoughts
Frame from the movie “Wedding Planner”
Psychologists from Heriot-Watt University in Scotland conducted an interesting study: they selected 40 films released from 1995 to 2005 and conducted a survey among volunteers about their expectations in a romantic relationship. Comparing the most frequent themes from films with the expectations of those surveyed, the researchers came to surprising conclusions.
According to The Telegraph, lovers of romantic comedies such as While You Slept, Wedding Planner, and Letter to You experienced difficulties in relationships. These people expressed the opinion that lovers should understand each other without words, so they did not discuss their desires and needs with partners. Psychologists are convinced that only a joint discussion of problems will help achieve effective communication.
Love always wins
Shot from the movie “When Harry Met Sally”
Love is, of course, an important component of any romantic relationship, but still far from the only one. No matter how the films try to convince us that all problems can be solved with the help of love, in practice, it does not work.
The director of the film “When Harry Met Sally” Rob Reiner admitted in an interview that in the original version of the picture, the main characters had to leave forever. Now, such an alternative ending to the famous film seems absurd, but perhaps it would be more realistic.
Mother-in-law and mother-in-law are evil
Frame from the film “If the mother-in-law is a monster”
In a film with the telling title If Mother-in-Law is a Monster, actress Jane Fonda plays the bitchy Viola Fields, whose only goal is to upset her own son’s wedding. A similar story is observed in the film “Stylish little thing”, where the future mother-in-law of the main character is categorically opposed to her son marrying a lower class girl.
Of course, the stereotype of harmful mother-in-law and mother-in-law did not appear from the air. According to the New York Post, a study in America showed that 28% of women had negative experiences with their mother-in-law. However, this also means that more than 70% of respondents do not have any claims to the mothers of their spouses.
Endless quarrels are romantic
Shot from the movie “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”
In love films, quarrels and scandals are often accompanied by a surge of passion. Take, for example, the film “How to Get Rid of a Guy in 10 Days”: despite the fact that the characters are constantly arguing, we still consider the film romantic.
In fact, romanticizing regular scandals is dangerous. It is important to remember that in real life quarrels bring only negative emotions, so couples who constantly swear are rarely happy.
Divorce is nonsense
Frame from the movie “Stylish little thing”
The vast majority of romantic comedies end in a happy ending. Meanwhile, according to statistics, approximately 60% of marriages in Russia eventually break up. In other countries, a similar trend is observed.
If a movie’s plotline includes a divorce, it’s usually not given much importance. For example, in the movie When Harry Met Sally, the main character’s divorce is mentioned in passing, and the plot revolves around his new relationship. And in the movie Stylish Little, Jake refuses to sign the divorce papers, and in the end, she and Melanie stay together.
So art films should not be treated as a relationship guide; real life is very different from what we see on the screen.